Men:
- Are you holding the door for her? Be a gentleman.
- Are you ordering for her? Don’t.
- Are you respecting her space? Remember: she has every right to feel a little fearful on a date in a dimly-lit restaurant with a guy she’s meeting for the first time.
- She does not owe you a kiss on the first date.
Women:
- Are you thanking him for picking up the check? A quick “thank you for dinner/drinks/paying tonight” text goes a long way.
- A man who’s earning a lot of money is also working for it. Would you rather have a husband who’s a high-earner and gone most of the month for business, or someone who makes enough to get by and will be home with you to have dinner every night? What if he’s a schoolteacher or runs a nonprofit? They’re not making buckets of cash. Remember that you want a good person who treats you with respect– high salary doesn’t mean high morals. Focus on meeting someone you can grow old with.
- Don’t obsess about height. The average guy in the U.S. is 5’9” and is bald or has thinning hair by his early 30s. Height and hairline to not correlate to heart and heaven-sent. Give him a break.
- Are you responding to him within a reasonable timeframe? Don’t wait a whole day to reply—that’s also a matter of being respectful.
Guys and gals:
- Are you giving them a chance? If they make your skin crawl, that’s one thing and a completely valid reason for not going on a second date. If, however, you find them attractive on some level and they’re an interesting-enough person, GO OUT WITH THEM AGAIN! A second date isn’t signing your life away to them—go for it!
- Are you treating the other with respect? This means asking them meaningful questions, perhaps their favorite memory from college, their dream job as a kid, who in their family they’re closest to, etc.
The above only scratches the surface of being a good dater. This all takes practice, and practice takes time. Don’t go it alone. Let’s work together and help you meet your future partner.
Let’s talk: chasdatingcoach@gmail.com